Wrongfully Convicted

Recently at dinner, someone said they received an email asking to list 10 people that they wouldn't feel bad if  they were wrongfully convicted and sent to jail for a year.  I love this question.  I tried to bring it up in the car with my friends and some of my first choices were offensive so I put some more thought into my roster.

1. Kim Kardashian.

I used to love her.  I am still completely amazed by her butt and how she can fit into clothes but I hate her.  She is so self loathing, complains all the time, and is dating Kanye West.  I was hungover on the couch watching KUWTK and she was wearing a wig to pretend she was other people "because she has been really stressed out lately and needed to have some fun".  Okay. You're dumb.  The world would be a better place if you were put away for a year.

2. Kanye West

Nobody hates Kanye more than my mom for taking the Moon Man away from Taylor Swift at the VMAs.  My mom said maybe 40 times in the span of ten minutes "DID HE REALLY DO THAT? DID YOU SEE THAT? WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? But I like Beyonce too..."  His new song "Mercy" is garbage and gives me a headache.  He also dates Kim Kardashian and has a nauseating fashion line.

3. Joan Rivers

Joan is mean and she shouldn't be.  My friend recently tweeted at Joan for her birthday saying she doesn't like a day over 60.  I re-tweeted the both of them and told Shannon to stop lying to Joan.  No one should be famous for being mean.

4. Miranda from Sex and the City

OMFG.  If Miranda was a real person, I would keep her in jail and throw away the key.  Why?  She sabotaged Big and Carrie's wedding the first time and thought it was appropriate to go on vacation with a full blown ginger bush.


5.  The Bouncers in the Seaport

Well not really, but I really don't like how they're on a power trip and make me wait 45 minutes to get into an empty bar. 

6.  Christina Aguilera

This woman is just such a pig.  She used to be awesome back in her Genie in a Bottle days and now she is just annoying and ghetto.  She thinks her boobs hanging out are acceptable and she didn't shake Justin Bieber's hand on the voice.

I am not sure if I can finish this list because I really am not a hateful person but I'll tell you some people I am obsessed with.

1. The nurse at my doctor's office because every time I go in thinking I am plagued, she listens to me.

2. The cast from the show Girls.  Please watch

3. Big Sexy on Twitter.  Please follow. https://twitter.com/#!/ITZZ_DAT_BITCH. You won't regret it.

4. The Barefoot Contessa on Food Network.  She is really just so divine and I love watching her cook while I run at the gym.

Summer

Today is the first day of summer!  Along with today being the longest day of the year, it is also one of the hottest I have encountered since last summer.  I stepped outside of my building toying with the idea of eating outside and decided to eat inside so I would not die of heat stroke.  Apparently my roommate Sarah almost did at the beach and is now laying on a towel in our living room because our apartment is also 5,000 degrees.  I am laughing so hard thinking of her doing this.

Do you have any goals for the summer?  I actually didn't until someone suggested five minutes ago that I should make a list.  Here are a couple of things on my roster.

1.  Become the tannest person in Boston (I have a slight advantage being half Indonesian.) 

2. Buying a t shirt from Spanky's in the Cape (We're coming for you Timmy.)

3. Find a hairstyle that is chic, cute, and invincible to humidity.  I am thinking perfecting the donut bun?  This girl is so annoying but I respect her hair skillz. 

4. Make the best playlist of the summer (Sarah this is really your job.)

5. Travel.  (I am cheating because I just booked a trip to California last week.)

6. Learn how to paddle board.  I think I would look really cool doing this.  

She is one upping me.  Yoga & Paddle Boarding.  So cool.

7. Find a cure to not barfing every time I drink.

8.  Survive the Spartan Race.  I can't even do a push up or pull up so I might be in trouble.

What's a little fire?

9. Wear really cool, neon colored nail polish because I am not sure if this will be socially acceptable ever again.

My list is to be continued.