White, Tammy [1:37 PM]:
XY eats 2 lean cuisines a day
Smith, Elizabeth [1:37 PM]:
WHAT
White, Tammy [1:37 PM]:
yup
White, Tammy [1:37 PM]:
just saw him with his 2nd
Smith, Elizabeth [1:38 PM]:
what kindz?
White, Tammy [1:39 PM]:
that, i do not know
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Don't Blame Me, Blame Technology.
Last night I had an epiphany. I was in bed listening to music from my iPod that was synced to my laptop, texting someone that I bought them a unicorn for Christmas, and reading from my Kindle. My epiphany was not that I am great at multitasking, but that fifteen years ago I did not have any of these things and today I could not live without any of these items. I have a high tendency of being dramatic, but my world would probably come close to crashing for about thirty minutes if any of these gadgets broke or went missing.
The obvious thing about all of these things is that they can be replaced. I have broken a million cell phones and have survived a day or two without them. Actually, last month my battery kept crapping out every ten minutes; being the bum I am, I just used other people's phones to harass my friends. (Erinn C. if you are reading this, I hope you deleted all of my text messages about moon shoes.) Two weeks ago I was in New York City and my friend's phone was going to die. I knew I was in for a New York Adventure so for safety precautions we wrote down five phone numbers on her wrist in case we lost each other.
I sent my iPod for a swim into my bathtub, and I have had the most viruses and computer replacements out of anyone I know. I guess if I lost my Kindle, I could just start buying books again even though books are too heavy for my feeble arms and they kill trees. I love when I see articles in magazines about how to preserve the earth because my first thought is "publish this shit on the internet so we aren't killing trees to print this and wasting gas on delivering the magazines." Morons.
Think of all the new gadgets you have bought over the years and how dependent you have come to be. Can you really hold a phone conversation with the person you have a crush on or is it all texting? I love when my friends tell me they have serious conversations with a person of interest via text or internet. Numerous friends have been broken up with via text. Really? A phone call couldn't suffice? Can you workout at the gym without your iPod? A friend of mine ran a marathon without her iPod because they weren't allowed. I think running that long without music would be more painful than the actual run. Are you over your laptop because your iPad is so much easier to hold and commute with? If you have said yes to any of these things, you my friend are dependent.
Let me explain the weird habit I have developed because of technology: I keep forgetting to flush the toilet. My company moved buildings at the end of August. I thought our old building was fine, had my desk, chair, cool people around to entertain me; even a big lawn outside for me to catch some sun in the summer. The new building we are in is beautiful, a large atrium, desks with a million drawers, a big gym that I use frequently, but more important, state of the art bathrooms. The bathrooms pretty much do everything for you; flush the toilet on your own, motion activated soap and water, and even a Dyson hand dryer. The only thing you REALLY have to do is wipe yourself; and that is even optional if you're into that kind of stuff.
My mother always told me that bathroom talk is bad so I will keep it at a minimal (I remember we called it toilet talk when we were younger and sent away from the kitchen table whenever we brought up farting or pooping.) I will just do the math for you. If I have a glass of orange juice, three cups of green tea and fill up my emo Newbury Comics Nalgene bottle four times in a span of nine hours, I am going to the bathroom frequently. If I work 45 hours a week and have been in this office for about 12 weeks; that allows for a serious habit to develop called FTFTT aka Forgetting to Flush the Toilet.
Now, this isn't a serious condition, but you will definitely offend the people who let you use their bathroom. Girls don't poop so that isn't an issue but pee really just doesn't smell great either. My mother brought it to my attention over Thanksgiving that I was not flushing the toilet and I looked at her like she was crazy because I ALWAYS FLUSH THE TOILET. Really though, I knew deep down I was wrong but thought "why don't you have a toilet that flushes itself?"
Today, I am more aware of whether or not I am flushing a toilet, but I am usually doing a shuffle where I am walking out of a bathroom, and walking back in to check. I am working on my bad habit and if I do not flush the toilet at your house/apartment/wherever please don't call me out in front of people. I never claimed to be perfect.
Below is my emo water bottle. Someone find my old blue one.
The obvious thing about all of these things is that they can be replaced. I have broken a million cell phones and have survived a day or two without them. Actually, last month my battery kept crapping out every ten minutes; being the bum I am, I just used other people's phones to harass my friends. (Erinn C. if you are reading this, I hope you deleted all of my text messages about moon shoes.) Two weeks ago I was in New York City and my friend's phone was going to die. I knew I was in for a New York Adventure so for safety precautions we wrote down five phone numbers on her wrist in case we lost each other.
I sent my iPod for a swim into my bathtub, and I have had the most viruses and computer replacements out of anyone I know. I guess if I lost my Kindle, I could just start buying books again even though books are too heavy for my feeble arms and they kill trees. I love when I see articles in magazines about how to preserve the earth because my first thought is "publish this shit on the internet so we aren't killing trees to print this and wasting gas on delivering the magazines." Morons.
Think of all the new gadgets you have bought over the years and how dependent you have come to be. Can you really hold a phone conversation with the person you have a crush on or is it all texting? I love when my friends tell me they have serious conversations with a person of interest via text or internet. Numerous friends have been broken up with via text. Really? A phone call couldn't suffice? Can you workout at the gym without your iPod? A friend of mine ran a marathon without her iPod because they weren't allowed. I think running that long without music would be more painful than the actual run. Are you over your laptop because your iPad is so much easier to hold and commute with? If you have said yes to any of these things, you my friend are dependent.
Let me explain the weird habit I have developed because of technology: I keep forgetting to flush the toilet. My company moved buildings at the end of August. I thought our old building was fine, had my desk, chair, cool people around to entertain me; even a big lawn outside for me to catch some sun in the summer. The new building we are in is beautiful, a large atrium, desks with a million drawers, a big gym that I use frequently, but more important, state of the art bathrooms. The bathrooms pretty much do everything for you; flush the toilet on your own, motion activated soap and water, and even a Dyson hand dryer. The only thing you REALLY have to do is wipe yourself; and that is even optional if you're into that kind of stuff.
My mother always told me that bathroom talk is bad so I will keep it at a minimal (I remember we called it toilet talk when we were younger and sent away from the kitchen table whenever we brought up farting or pooping.) I will just do the math for you. If I have a glass of orange juice, three cups of green tea and fill up my emo Newbury Comics Nalgene bottle four times in a span of nine hours, I am going to the bathroom frequently. If I work 45 hours a week and have been in this office for about 12 weeks; that allows for a serious habit to develop called FTFTT aka Forgetting to Flush the Toilet.
Now, this isn't a serious condition, but you will definitely offend the people who let you use their bathroom. Girls don't poop so that isn't an issue but pee really just doesn't smell great either. My mother brought it to my attention over Thanksgiving that I was not flushing the toilet and I looked at her like she was crazy because I ALWAYS FLUSH THE TOILET. Really though, I knew deep down I was wrong but thought "why don't you have a toilet that flushes itself?"
Today, I am more aware of whether or not I am flushing a toilet, but I am usually doing a shuffle where I am walking out of a bathroom, and walking back in to check. I am working on my bad habit and if I do not flush the toilet at your house/apartment/wherever please don't call me out in front of people. I never claimed to be perfect.
Below is my emo water bottle. Someone find my old blue one.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
The Art of Annoying Roommates
Roommates. Can't live with them; can't live without them (unless you can afford to buy your own place of course). I currently live with two of the most sensational women I have ever met! It is a great feeling to want to go home and see the people that live under the same roof as you. Both S & M are very patient with my weird tendencies; they always make me aware that I am a very interesting person to live with.
I have been a roommate my whole life! I am one of four children, I lived with three girls my junior year of college, and our senior year six of us lived together in a mansion shared with about 18 people. I can't believe that many people agreed to live with me!
Living with my friends made me realize how much my family tolerated when I lived at home for 18 years and then for the treacherous 13 months after college.
Below is a list of things you can do, but shouldn't do to annoy your roommates.
1. "Huh?"
I perfected this in high school with my mom. Whenever I was laying in bed and my mom would ask me to do something from anywhere outside of my bedroom, I would just reply "huh?" This has to be one of the most annoying responses. "Huh" is just a noise, it isn't even a word. If it is in the dictionary; I will tell Webster he is wrong. Why can't someone just say "excuse me what did you say?" "Huh" is the best response because my mom would just ask the question even louder, I would respond again with "huh". After three or four times of repeating this, she would finally walk to my room, see that I was laughing from annoying her, call me an idiot, and walk away. Eventually when I found the energy to rise out of bed, I would of course clean the bathroom, vacuum, and walk the dogs.
2. Doors are Closed for a Reason.
Maybe because I grew up in a home with three other siblings, I hardly ever knock anywhere. I know it is the considerate thing to do but it really just isn't the first thing I think about when I encounter a closed door. One of the funniest things my sister would make me do is open the door when one of my parents were in the bathroom. Of course no one wants to see what they are doing in there but it was their reactions that always made us laugh. A frequent response from my dad: "Are you dense?! Can't you see the damn door is closed for a reason!" The only thing that is worse about opening the door to something you don't want to or shouldn't see is just acting like it is completely normal. A couple of months ago, I whipped open my roommate's door at 7:45 am EST on a Sunday morning to her naked boyfriend getting changed. Not only did I not walk away, but I just patiently waited for him to put his clothes on, then asked them how last night was.
3. Halfsies.
My taste pallet is very unique. I love salty, sour, candy sweet and really could give two craps about desserts (other than fruit tarts). Ice cream, cake, and brownies can really just cease to exist for all I care. This awful habit is something I developed growing up. My dad and dogs are the vacuums for all the food I choose not to finish so I frequently will eat half of something and put it away knowing that someone else will eat it. This is a recurring thing with desserts and especially ice cream sandwiches. They always look really good but after two bites I am running for water because my tongue is sticking to the roof of my mouth. Nothing is better than hearing my mother, sisters, one of my roommates yelling at me for leaving a half bitten ice cream sandwich in the freezer. In college, I had a pint of raspberry sorbet that I really liked but only for a bite. That whole pint lasted from September 2009 until around graduation (May 2010.) If you are really paying attention, you would know that my response to someone asking me why I left my half bitten ice cream sandwich in the freezer would be "huh?"
4. Doing Your Part.
Sharing is caring. I am a great sharer. You can borrow just about anything from me other than candy. My roommates and I now actually share groceries. It works because we don't have three different heads of lettuce, 14 pounds of frozen chicken, and 48 eggs (except we do fly through eggs). If something is out, one of us will replace it. In college, it was definitely buy my turn to buy toilet paper. It is not that I didn't have the money to buy toilet paper, I was just choosing not to. Between me being "busy" and social, I really couldn't find the strength to go to CVS or anywhere to buy toilet paper. We stole TP from upstairs, I tried stealing from bathrooms on campus, and then just started using Sarah's tissues until they ran out. My roommates were becoming very impatient with me and I knew time was running out. The day I swore up and down I would buy toilet paper, I skipped class with my friend Amy, ate day old Chili's that was in the back of her car, and argued over how to sing the Yahoo song. After being a waste of life for about three hours, I realized that my face was swollen from the stupid cat Jazzy that Amy had. Amy rushed to get me benadryl to make the swelling go away and of course I was very tired after and fell asleep without getting any toilet paper. I really believe it was only hours before my roommates were going to start using my clothes as their toilet paper, so at 5 am I woke up and went to Walmart to replenish the house. This situation could have been easily avoided.
5. Cleaning
Not to toot my own horn, but I believe I am a phenomenal cleaner. Not only do I clean, but I am organized too! Currently, we are living without a vacuum so it is hairball city, but overall our current apartment is always neat. All of us are great with helping out; if one roommate cooks, the other will clean up, if someone has nothing to do, they will wash the dishes or clean the bathroom. Two years ago, I was organized but not the tidiest roomie. The one thing I dreaded the most senior year was doing dishes; with six girls they piled up quickly. Also, after a long day at school or whatever I was doing, the last thing I wanted to do was clean after cooking. My cop out was letting all of my dishes and pans "soak". "Soaking" was filling whatever I used with hot water and soap and letting it sit for about three days on average. In hindsight, it probably would have been better to just clean everything right away than having people yell at me and me responding "huh". No one really wanted to touch me four day old oatmeal bowl hanging out next to the microwave or in the sink; and really no one should ever have to look at that.
6. The Fake Sleep
Senior year, I slept in what was a sun room turned bed room to rip off college students. My bedroom had a door that also went to the outside which was a curse and a blessing. It was great to move things in and out but I didn't really always enjoy drunk people banging on my door looking for a party when I was trying to get some beauty sleep. I really love naps and think I may have spent a third of my life napping (in my bed, at parties, and in class.) In my mind, there is nothing better than falling asleep to Law & Order at 3:00 pm on a Tuesday for three hours. Writing that, I really miss college solely for the napping aspect. Living with six girls, some one is always around and that someone always want to hang out, talk about boys/sex/clothes/feeling fat/being poor/stressed for finals/what the plans for that night are/what am I cooking for dinner/can you believe our neighbors were up until 5 am/asking why the landlord sent me another email with a smiley :)/asking who ate their snacks. I really loved my roommates but sometimes I just didn't want to chit chat!! So what do you do? Build up a reputation for being a notorious napper and just keep your door closed when you don't want to talk. So if someone ever knocked on my door asking to do something, I would just close my eyes like I was napping until they walked away. This would backfire every once in a while when they heard my laugh out loud because of something funny I thought of. If I was really looking to play a good joke, I would let a roommate knock on my door for a really long time, have them walk away, and I would walk out my back door and walk in the front door like I was out the whole time.
7. The Heat
Maybe because I am half Pacific Islander, I love being warm. Even in the summer, I turn up the AC extra high so I have a reason so sleep with a blanket. I also lived with Sarah junior and senior year of college so heat is a constant battle that we duke out. Junior year, she lived upstairs, I lived downstairs, so the heat always "rose" and Sarah woke up sweating buckets. As I mentioned before, I had a door in my room that led to the outside so there was always a draft, which meant my room was an ice box! My room and Sarah's were next to each other and the thermostat was in my room so of course, I would turn the heat as high as I could to survive through the night and she would be almost in tears from being so hot. I knew sometimes it was a little to high, but I really set a new record when the chocolate Sarah's sister sent her for Valentines day melted all over her TV in about eight hours. Sarah was very upset, so of course after responding "huh" to her yelling at me, I vowed to keep the heat below 70 degrees (but did I?) This year, I am getting better with the heat (because I am actually paying for it) but I think Sarah walked into my room to turn the heat down last night; woops.
If you like who you live with, you should not do any of these things; not even once. I fear finding all of my things on the curb when I get home tonight. I will let you all know if I am looking for a new place to live because Lord knows my mom won't take me back.
I have been a roommate my whole life! I am one of four children, I lived with three girls my junior year of college, and our senior year six of us lived together in a mansion shared with about 18 people. I can't believe that many people agreed to live with me!
Living with my friends made me realize how much my family tolerated when I lived at home for 18 years and then for the treacherous 13 months after college.
Below is a list of things you can do, but shouldn't do to annoy your roommates.
1. "Huh?"
I perfected this in high school with my mom. Whenever I was laying in bed and my mom would ask me to do something from anywhere outside of my bedroom, I would just reply "huh?" This has to be one of the most annoying responses. "Huh" is just a noise, it isn't even a word. If it is in the dictionary; I will tell Webster he is wrong. Why can't someone just say "excuse me what did you say?" "Huh" is the best response because my mom would just ask the question even louder, I would respond again with "huh". After three or four times of repeating this, she would finally walk to my room, see that I was laughing from annoying her, call me an idiot, and walk away. Eventually when I found the energy to rise out of bed, I would of course clean the bathroom, vacuum, and walk the dogs.
2. Doors are Closed for a Reason.
Maybe because I grew up in a home with three other siblings, I hardly ever knock anywhere. I know it is the considerate thing to do but it really just isn't the first thing I think about when I encounter a closed door. One of the funniest things my sister would make me do is open the door when one of my parents were in the bathroom. Of course no one wants to see what they are doing in there but it was their reactions that always made us laugh. A frequent response from my dad: "Are you dense?! Can't you see the damn door is closed for a reason!" The only thing that is worse about opening the door to something you don't want to or shouldn't see is just acting like it is completely normal. A couple of months ago, I whipped open my roommate's door at 7:45 am EST on a Sunday morning to her naked boyfriend getting changed. Not only did I not walk away, but I just patiently waited for him to put his clothes on, then asked them how last night was.
3. Halfsies.
My taste pallet is very unique. I love salty, sour, candy sweet and really could give two craps about desserts (other than fruit tarts). Ice cream, cake, and brownies can really just cease to exist for all I care. This awful habit is something I developed growing up. My dad and dogs are the vacuums for all the food I choose not to finish so I frequently will eat half of something and put it away knowing that someone else will eat it. This is a recurring thing with desserts and especially ice cream sandwiches. They always look really good but after two bites I am running for water because my tongue is sticking to the roof of my mouth. Nothing is better than hearing my mother, sisters, one of my roommates yelling at me for leaving a half bitten ice cream sandwich in the freezer. In college, I had a pint of raspberry sorbet that I really liked but only for a bite. That whole pint lasted from September 2009 until around graduation (May 2010.) If you are really paying attention, you would know that my response to someone asking me why I left my half bitten ice cream sandwich in the freezer would be "huh?"
4. Doing Your Part.
Sharing is caring. I am a great sharer. You can borrow just about anything from me other than candy. My roommates and I now actually share groceries. It works because we don't have three different heads of lettuce, 14 pounds of frozen chicken, and 48 eggs (except we do fly through eggs). If something is out, one of us will replace it. In college, it was definitely buy my turn to buy toilet paper. It is not that I didn't have the money to buy toilet paper, I was just choosing not to. Between me being "busy" and social, I really couldn't find the strength to go to CVS or anywhere to buy toilet paper. We stole TP from upstairs, I tried stealing from bathrooms on campus, and then just started using Sarah's tissues until they ran out. My roommates were becoming very impatient with me and I knew time was running out. The day I swore up and down I would buy toilet paper, I skipped class with my friend Amy, ate day old Chili's that was in the back of her car, and argued over how to sing the Yahoo song. After being a waste of life for about three hours, I realized that my face was swollen from the stupid cat Jazzy that Amy had. Amy rushed to get me benadryl to make the swelling go away and of course I was very tired after and fell asleep without getting any toilet paper. I really believe it was only hours before my roommates were going to start using my clothes as their toilet paper, so at 5 am I woke up and went to Walmart to replenish the house. This situation could have been easily avoided.
5. Cleaning
Not to toot my own horn, but I believe I am a phenomenal cleaner. Not only do I clean, but I am organized too! Currently, we are living without a vacuum so it is hairball city, but overall our current apartment is always neat. All of us are great with helping out; if one roommate cooks, the other will clean up, if someone has nothing to do, they will wash the dishes or clean the bathroom. Two years ago, I was organized but not the tidiest roomie. The one thing I dreaded the most senior year was doing dishes; with six girls they piled up quickly. Also, after a long day at school or whatever I was doing, the last thing I wanted to do was clean after cooking. My cop out was letting all of my dishes and pans "soak". "Soaking" was filling whatever I used with hot water and soap and letting it sit for about three days on average. In hindsight, it probably would have been better to just clean everything right away than having people yell at me and me responding "huh". No one really wanted to touch me four day old oatmeal bowl hanging out next to the microwave or in the sink; and really no one should ever have to look at that.
6. The Fake Sleep
Senior year, I slept in what was a sun room turned bed room to rip off college students. My bedroom had a door that also went to the outside which was a curse and a blessing. It was great to move things in and out but I didn't really always enjoy drunk people banging on my door looking for a party when I was trying to get some beauty sleep. I really love naps and think I may have spent a third of my life napping (in my bed, at parties, and in class.) In my mind, there is nothing better than falling asleep to Law & Order at 3:00 pm on a Tuesday for three hours. Writing that, I really miss college solely for the napping aspect. Living with six girls, some one is always around and that someone always want to hang out, talk about boys/sex/clothes/feeling fat/being poor/stressed for finals/what the plans for that night are/what am I cooking for dinner/can you believe our neighbors were up until 5 am/asking why the landlord sent me another email with a smiley :)/asking who ate their snacks. I really loved my roommates but sometimes I just didn't want to chit chat!! So what do you do? Build up a reputation for being a notorious napper and just keep your door closed when you don't want to talk. So if someone ever knocked on my door asking to do something, I would just close my eyes like I was napping until they walked away. This would backfire every once in a while when they heard my laugh out loud because of something funny I thought of. If I was really looking to play a good joke, I would let a roommate knock on my door for a really long time, have them walk away, and I would walk out my back door and walk in the front door like I was out the whole time.
7. The Heat
Maybe because I am half Pacific Islander, I love being warm. Even in the summer, I turn up the AC extra high so I have a reason so sleep with a blanket. I also lived with Sarah junior and senior year of college so heat is a constant battle that we duke out. Junior year, she lived upstairs, I lived downstairs, so the heat always "rose" and Sarah woke up sweating buckets. As I mentioned before, I had a door in my room that led to the outside so there was always a draft, which meant my room was an ice box! My room and Sarah's were next to each other and the thermostat was in my room so of course, I would turn the heat as high as I could to survive through the night and she would be almost in tears from being so hot. I knew sometimes it was a little to high, but I really set a new record when the chocolate Sarah's sister sent her for Valentines day melted all over her TV in about eight hours. Sarah was very upset, so of course after responding "huh" to her yelling at me, I vowed to keep the heat below 70 degrees (but did I?) This year, I am getting better with the heat (because I am actually paying for it) but I think Sarah walked into my room to turn the heat down last night; woops.
If you like who you live with, you should not do any of these things; not even once. I fear finding all of my things on the curb when I get home tonight. I will let you all know if I am looking for a new place to live because Lord knows my mom won't take me back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)