MASH

On Monday night, my roommates and I were sitting around the kitchen table chitchatting.  Somewhere between sending emails and Sarah playing TLC, we decided to play the game MASH.  If you are a girl, you have definitely played MASH anywhere from third to eight grade.  I probably played it in high school too.  Mary was a weird child growing up in her large marge khakis and thought that Sarah and I were talking about the TV show M*A*S*H (she suffers severely from only child syndrome.)

Right away, Sarah busts out a pen and paper and we go to town to determine Mary's fate.  Below are the categories for MASH:

1. What are you living in? You can choose from: Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House (hence where the name came from.) I was never really concerned about what I was living in except for if it was in a shack. This might explain why I am apathetic about not having a dishwasher in my apartment right now.

2. Who are you marrying?  Growing up it was all about celebrities like Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Justin Timberlake, Kevin from Back Street Boys, or my brother's friend Ed.  Ten years later though, you cannot have all of your dream men on the roster.  When I played in middle school, I usually wrote down one weird kid in our class (I am thinking of one who ate glue for fun and one had white stuff all of his face from his fluff sandwiches.)  Even on Monday, I gave Sarah the worst roster of people ever, of course she wasn't happy with me.  Mary ended up marrying a food runner that we had an interesting encounter with on Friday.  Fate is fate.

3. What will your career be?  I wish this game was partially real because I have no idea what I want to do with my life.  Mary ran into our apartment yesterday and decided that we will open a gym called 195; she will be a personal trainer, I will be a yoga instructor, my sister will be our nutritionist, Sarah will be our DJ/nurse, and Erinn will be our Zumba teacher.  I love this idea.  I also love the idea of sitting in Paris, smoking a cigarette (even though I don't smoke), wearing fashionable clothes, and writing about something cool.  I think Sarah's option for fate on Monday were Chief RN at MGH (which she will be someday), a trash picker, a host at Pizzeria Regina (which she would secretly love), and something else.  Sarah's fate was that she will be working at Pizzeria Regina.

Peace Pizza by Sarah Regina

4. How many kids will you have?  Before I get into the subject of MASH, you should know that Pfizer called back the birth control Lo/Ovral-28 (norgestrel and ethinyl estradiol) Tablets and 14 lots of Norgestrel and Ethinyl Estradiol Tablets (generic) today saying that it might not prevent pregnancy.  Because of contraception, we can usually control how many kids you want to have unless you get IVF and end up popping out quadruplets when all you wanted was one kid.

5.  What car will you be driving?  My favorite "car" to write for my friends when I was younger was a grocery cart.  I have always been such a great friend.  If anyone wants to buy me a car, I would love an eco friendly BMW X5.  My MASH on Monday said I was going to have multiple kids so I will settle for a Volvo SUV.  Thank you.

6. Where will you live?  Boston, Miami, LA, and the Mexican border.  You better hope that MASH does not put you on the border. If you end up there, suck it up, you get to enjoy tacos and margaritas! YOLO. 

After all of these categories are picked, the person who wrote everything down has to make marks on the paper until the person's who fate is being decided says stop.  From there, you can be living in a shack, married to Beans from Even Stevens, working at a car wash, with six kids, driving an VW shaggin' wagon, in Toronto.  Who ever told you that you decide your own fate lied.  It is all about MASH.