Picking Kay Smith's Brain.

Kay is a junior at Framingham State University where she plays basketball.  Kay used to have a band called Koffey but they never actually made music and also had dreads for about six months.  Kay loves sushi, chocolate milk, and cheese doodles.

Q. Please state your name for the record.
A. Kathleen "Clavis" Patricia Smith

Q. What is your most prized possession?
A.  I've had Polar Bear since I was four. He was a gift from Liz O'Neil. I still have him to this day on my bed.  When Fozzy ripped him I remember having a slight anxiety attack and probably cried so much.

Q. I remember when Mom performed surgery.  How does it feel to be the favorite child?

A. It's a gift if anything, Dad loves me and Mom loves me. I can do whatever the hell I want and get away with it. Normally if I do something bad, somehow you get yelled at. It's wonderful, but what would I do if I didn't have you? You're the only one who can piss of Mom and Dad the most and make me laugh.

Q. What is your favorite family memory?

A.   My favorite family memory was watching Brian run in the triathlon. We were standing at the finish line when that guy running looked at me, then you, then looked at Sarah and immediately vomited everywhere. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard.  

Q.  If you were a couch, what kind would you be? 

A.  A love seat because it has enough space to lie down on, enough space for  two asses to sit on; if need be, squeeze a third. It would be brown. I'd definitely be a leather couch; the fart smell won't linger for long. With cotton, the smell always lingers, especially when you lie down.

Q.  What was your favorite show growing up? What is it now? 

A.  My favorite show growing up was probably All That. I remember the Corn, Lori Beth Dinberg (reminds me of you and your vital information for my everyday life), Kenan, Kel, Josh, Amanda Bynes (remember "Moody's Point"?)  Now I'd probably say either Family Guy, The Sarah Silverman Program, or Gangland. I love watching it on the couch when I'm home with Ma and the dogs. Peter is probably one of the stupidest people I've ever met, Sarah Silverman is the most racist yet politically correct, and Gangland always has chulos on it.

Q. What is your favorite Halloween candy?  

A. My favorite candy is probably candycorn, it is so addictive and it's a great way to stay in shape.

Q. If you were stranded on an island, what five things would you bring to have forever?

A.  Polar Bear, Mom, a blanket, a book, and probably Smart Food popcorn.

Q.  Who was your favorite teacher and why? 

A.  My favorite teacher that i've ever had was Ms. Sullivan for 5th grade English. For one thing, you told me trinket was underwear then I asked her what it was, and she immediately corrected me. She always started out class saying "Okay guys! open up your organizers!" extra emphasis on the r's.  She was always so sweet, introduced me to the Chronicles of Narnia. You once told her you couldn't do work because your eyebrows hurt which I admired very much. Also remember Ms. McCarthy from first grade, and if she was ever mad she'd move her tongue around in her mouth like she was trying to get peanut butter off her teeth?

Q.  Would you rather wake up with an ass the size of a book shelf or hands so big they made your arms tired? 

A.  Uh bookshelf ass. I'd be a walking legend, and with my ass that big I might as well make my body that big to keep some sort of proportion. I'd eat anything I'd want.

Q. Please talk about your life threatening experience this summer.

A.   The bicycle crash: I was on my way to tutoring, and I knew something was going to be different when I decided to cross Gallivan Blvd. by Magdala Street. I thought I had time to get across, the street, but the cars were coming the other way which kept me strattling in the middle of the road for longer. All of a sudden I turned around and saw the cars speeding up behind me. One white van swerved around me and I thanked god it didn't hit me, but then the damn Camry behind it side swiped me and then me and the bike rolled around together on the road. After this, I had the courage to get up and walk my scraped ass onto the side of the road by Craig Reynold's street. At least five cars slowed down and said "Are you okay?". I have a scar on my shoulder, a scar on my left knee, and my hand looked like someone tried to crucify me.

Q. Speaking of Jesus, what is your favorite church hymn and memory?
Church hymn: Children of God, in one family, loved by God in one family, and no matter what we do, God loves me and God loves you! or the "Lord gahhhhhhhhhd, heavenly kingggggggggggg". Favorite memory was gathering together with all the wrong people at St. Gregory's church for Easter Vigil.  A black lady's hair caught on fire because she had too much hairspray in it. Kitty screamed and Patsy said "I didn't know Michael Jackson came here."  Robyn was there too, who is atheist.

Q.  Would you rather wake up next to R. Kelly or in a Ford Taurus? 
A.  OMG next to R. Kelly the Ford Taurus is the ugliest car created known to man.  I'd rather be peed on.

Q.  What is the most annoying thing I can do to anyone in our family?
A. Talk. When you ask questions, aka "dad questions" I know your main purpose is to make someone mad. But as history shows, you made dad really mad about riding in the cars "with the window down" and you killed Snowflake when you rapped about her in front of her face. I was in the basement with you, and it was funny.

Q. Any last things you would like to leave us with? Any words of widsom? 
A.  If the food smells funky, it's going to taste funky. It smells how it tastes. RIP Britt Murph.