Characters of the #11

Every morning I wake up (or Mary wakes me up) around 6:45 am.  Between showering, saying I'm tired a million times, debating what accessories to wear, and eating breakfast, my roommate and I catch the number 11 bus at 7:22 or 7:28 everyday.  My morning commute is pretty monotonous: the number 11 bus, red line to Alewife,  and a walk through a marsh to my office.  I used to be a public transportation snob but now that I am forced to take it everyday; I make the best of it. I have the most bizarre play lists, read lots of books, and dominate at least one Sudoku puzzle a day.  

My bus trip from Eighth Street to Broadways Station is probably the highlight of my commute.  The bus ride is kind of like the pregame to all of the chaos that can happen on the Red Line.  My roommate and I will talk at the bus stop, but once we are on the bus, our iPods and Kindles are in use.  You know you have a great friendship with someone when you can sit next to them and not feel obligated to say anything to them.  Below is a list of the characters that we encounter on a daily basis.

Our great trip starts as soon as we arrive at the bus stop.  Character number one is crazy Asian woman (not my aunt, cousin, or relative you jokesters!) who talks to everyone.  She is very friendly; she says hi to everyone at the bus stop and chats with whoever she sits next to.  I have even seen her hug the three year old daughter of the chain smoker with the straightest bangs that waits with us everyday.  My favorite thing she does is when the bus is running  a little late and she stands in the middle of Eighth street with her hands on her hips, looking for the bus, and reports back to people that she doesn't see it. Thank you, we all have eyes too.

As the bus opens its doors, our fingers are crossed hoping that we do not have Big Eyes for a bus driver.  Big Eyes is very nice and waits for us if she sees us running out of our apartment, but she is not a safe driver.  She will stop at stop signs and red lights at her discretion. When you think that there is no way the bus is going to fit down a narrow street with a garbage truck and cars on both sides, Big Eyes flies right through with no fear.  I remember one day Mary and I got on the bus and Big Eyes was wearing this headband that had deer antlers; it just showed how much of an animal she really was behind the bus wheel.

There are a number of other bus drivers that we encounter but my favorite is Warren.  I think if Warren was born maybe 40 years ago, he would have been a jazz musician.  Warren is so nice and thoughtful; he grabs a ton of Metros and leaves them at the front of the bus for people to take.  He is also a safe driver -- truly a saint in my book.

We pick up Shoe Box Woman at Eighth and Dorchester.  This woman scares the hell out of me; I really try not to make eye contact with her.  Shoe Box Woman gets on the bus, complains really loud about something, and then sits down.  Sometimes, Shoe Box Woman is cool, calm, and collected, but other times its like she left her filter back on Eighth and Dorchester St.  SBW is usually dressed in crazy colored sweatpants and sneakers.  She also likes to sport sunglasses when they are completely unnecessary and sometimes a visor in the winter.  I have not seen her smoke a cigarette, but I am 100% convinced she does.  I call her Shoe Box Woman because she reminds me of the old woman on the cards that Shoebox makes.
 

Identical Twins but SBW is definitely more crude.

Next stop at Dorchester and the top of West Sixth is Slickback.  Slickback might actually be a really nice guy, but from September to December, he was slicking his hair back.  Mary and I decided that Slickback thinks he is the cat's meow (or like Mary would say, the cat's pajamas.)  Slickback is actually a great dresser. He kind of reminds me of a younger Brendan Fraser.  I actually think that Slickback would make all of the awful movie career choices too if  he were famous.  Right before Christmas, Slickback cut his hair and his whole persona changed.  He actually appears to be a little stressed since he got his ears lowered.  I hope he's okay and grows his hair out again soon; I think he will find true happiness.

Our last character of the day is Bus Crush who gets on at the end of West Sixth and D St.  I am not even sure what makes Bus Crush the dreamiest man I have encountered on all of my commutes.  BC is tall, always dressed in a suit, rocks a really nice watch, and has a great smile when he doesn't appear so serious.  I think BC is a better built Ryan Phillippe (who I have the same birthday as which leads me to believe that I am his soul mate.)  Both Mary and I are so captivated by BC's beauty that we are not even discreet about staring at him.  Once I had to sit next to BC on the way home from work because it was the only seat available; if there were other seats open I would not have sat next to him because I don't think I could breathe in his presence.

After BC gets on the bus, it is only a minute until we are at Broadway and I depart.  While getting off the bus, I say goodbye to Mary and promise to contact her via email as soon as my laptop is up and running.  It is only minutes later than I am squeezed like a sardine on a train cart going to work.