1. "Rocko"
I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but my dad is the easiest person to annoy and fool. When we were helping my brother move, he didn't know how to open my brother's car door (or acted like he didn't know); I told him he had to pull the handle three times and bang once with his knee and he seriously contemplated doing it until my mother yelled at me and told him to press the damn unlock button. I am not sure how I even came up with this prank, but I somehow convinced my father that my sister's best friend's dad's name was Rocko. Maddy's dad's name was actually just Gary. Maddy would be over our house about six days a week, so was my dad even though my parents are divorced, but I brought up her dad as "Rocko" enough that my dad really thought "Mr. G" was now "Mr. Rocko G". A couple of weeks had passed and I forgot that I had even conjured up such a prank until my dad sent me a text saying "MADDY'S DAD'S NAME IS NOT ROCKO." I guess my dad had swung by the house to pick up my sister and called Mr. G "Rocko", Mr. G looked at him confused and asked Maddy why my dad called him Rocko. Just to make my dad's blood boil a little more, I asked him where he got the name Rocko from because Maddy's dad's name was Gary.
2. Hold & Run
This isn't really a prank, but it is one of the two things that crossed my mind this morning while I was making tea in the kitchen at work. There was a really crazy, funny kid in my class from fifth to eighth grade. He used to make Pokemon characters out of clay and make the noises that they made in the shows. Another plus to this kid that I will refer to as "R" was that he would eat anything. He was once dared to eat glue in a science class and he guzzled it like no other! Kids in our class would also mix all of their left over lunches together and he ate it like it was no problem (We also did this with our friend Liz in college but she made us pay her money.) Almost everyday, "R" would raise his hand and ask to go to the bathroom. The teacher would ask if it was an emergency and he would respond "yes". EVERY TIME "R" got up to go to the bathroom, he would run up to the front of the classroom, holding his butt with his hands, and run out. I would consider this a prank on the teacher because not only would the class laugh, but they would look at the clock to see how long it took him to come back. The time ranged from three to thirty three minutes. Maybe "R" got sick from eating everyone's mishmash of lunch.
3. Pranks Gone Bad
Here is the second prank that crossed my mind today. Since I do not have a lawyer and make peanuts for work, I will say that all of the names in this prank have been changed. In seventh grade, we had multiple bake sales to raise money for various events. Cupcakes, cookies, and brownies are always a hit, but what parent bakes banana bread in hopes of it selling to middle school kids? Peter's family sent him in with banana bread that did not sell well. Instead of taking the banana bread home, Peter left the bread wrapped in tin foil for a couple of weeks in his cubby. Peter was a little guy, maybe a little under five feet tall and weighed about 85 lbs in the seventh grade (that is being generous). One day at lunch, Peter offered Ricky (these names are awesome) a piece of old, moldy banana bread. Ricky, not the brightest bulb, took the banana bread and actually ate it. After Ricky chewed and swallowed the banana bread, Peter let out a loud laugh, insinuating that his prank had been successful. Not only did Ricky run to the bathroom to puke right away, but he actually got food poisoning. Looking back on this, this was actually a very mean prank, but Peter in no way shape or form learned a lesson. I do not know where Peter is, but I remember being in California on vacation at my aunt's and hearing that there was a stabbing in Boston. Ricky was the one who had stabbed someone. He actually made national news. Peter is lucky he is alive today.
4. When Forr Freezes Over
A recent prank I played at work was on my friend Becky. I never go out of my way to play a prank but sometimes people just make it so easy. I strolled into the kitchen and saw that Becky left her famous Becky mug on the counter and she was no where to be found. The mug had a little bit of tea left and a tea bag. My initial thought was to just pick up the cup and put it in the freezer; because it was the end of the day, she didn't even know it was missing. The next morning, I arrived to work, went to the freezer, and put her frozen mug on her desk. I thought this was a prank because she would have to defrost her mug and clean it before she could have her morning coffee and tea. Instead of her being frustrated that her cup was frozen, Becky could not believe that her cup had frozen over night while sitting on her desk. This was more successful than I thought! I let my lovely colleague Jill in on my prank and all day we heard Becky tell people that our office must hit subzero temperatures over night to conserve energy and it froze her mug. I wish I saw these people's reactions, but because I am such a saint, I told her the prank I played. The last thing I wanted was for people to think Becky was a lunatic and believing that the office turned into an igloo at night and it froze her mug. A couple of weeks later, we stole her water bottle and put it on the ledge of the white boards in our office. We love Becky.
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| Jill sent me this picture of Becky's mug. I am not even sure where it came from. |
Sense of humor runs in my mom's side of the family. Whenever anything happens, I know that I can call anyone and they will laugh. Pranking must be the same. This past fall, my great Aunt Toot moved to Massachusetts from Long Island. Everyone really loves her, but because she is so cranky, she really isn't pleasant to be around. For Thanksgiving, she was supposed to eat dinner at my aunt's house but they did not sign her out two days in advance so she could not leave (I am not sure if this was intentional or not.) My other aunt was going over for Thanksgiving dinner and thought that Aunt Toot would also be in attendance. My aunt who was hosting dinner, set up a walker outside of her bathroom, and told my other aunt that Aunt Toot was in the bathroom having "issues". My uncle was so excited about the plan that he got to add his line "She has diarrhea". After 45 minutes of my aunt Patsy thinking that Toot was in the bathroom, my other aunt suggested that she go in and help her. Patsy was dreading assisting her, but she did went in and saw that the bathroom was empty. Aunt Toot was still back at the nursing home for Thanksgiving and not rotting on the toilet. My aunt is a true prankster.
6. The Mask
My cousin Whitney lives with the biggest scaredy cat Lauren. I actually wish I could put Whitney, Lauren, and their third roommate Brittany on a sitcom. Lauren, as dope, fly, and buff as she is from working out at Peter Welch's gym, is afraid of her own shadow. I love that Lauren is so afraid of robbers and rapists breaking into her house, yet their first apartment, she had a door leading directly to her bedroom, and now they live in a ranch style house (Da Bebe Ranch) and her bedroom is probably the easiest one to break into. Typical O'Neill (our mothers' maiden name) thing to do, is to make a joke of someone's fears and weakness. What does Whitney do? She goes to KMart, buys a mask that she knows will scare Lauren, gets home from the gym before Lauren and hides in a room with the mask on until Lauren comes home. Lauren ends up not walking into the room that Whitney is in so she runs out in scares her. Lauren thought she was a bandit so she screams and cries. Lauren was so upset with Whitney that she was a horrible person and actually told her family on Whitney. Every time I sleep at the ranch I am so tempted to play a prank on her.
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| Da Mask |
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| Da Bebes |
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